And I´m Going Alone... All The Way

Hello Everybody, how is everybody doing?

I´m here today to unload some of the sadness i´ve been feeling lately, most people don´t know this, but when i´m deeply sad or in several moments of shyness, I suddenly start speaking/writting in English. Don´t ask me why, I guess that´s a strategy I developed when I was younger and that I continue to use even nowadays.

But let´s get to the chase, if ask me what happened, I´m gonna be honest and say that even I don´t know it for sure - it´s kind of stupid, don´t you think, feeling sad for some reason you don´t even know? But that´s what is happening right now.

I´ve always tried my very best just to be who I am, you know, and to not let down some people that share some of my high expectations, truthfulness and even loyalty, but lately I don´t even know how to say this, but I realized that things are not as well as they used to be, I´ve been losing touch with some very special friends, I´ve been lonely, flying solo in a silent war that I don´t wanna fight, and that I don´t even know what caused it in the first place!

People just don´t get it, or they just won´t understand me or my reasons, they just come to me and say it right to my face - "You did This!" and "You did that!". Come on,I Don´t even know how to strike back and that´s something i really don´t wanna do.

I´m just trying to be a real boy, with feelings and emotions who wants to fight alongside his friends, not against them, there is no competition, there is no sarcasm, I am devasted when i hear something bad happened to the people I care for, and i just can´t do nothing, i´m worried i might say some crazy shit that will blow everything up, sometimes people think i´m cold and heartless but i just don´t wanna hurt their feelings, and sometimes, that´s the hardest part.

I just want to say I´m sorry if i ever let you down.
It wasn´t my intention, you mean a lot to me and i don´t want things to keep going like this.

I´m not expecting anyone to read this, but I really had to say it out loud, and after all, this is my holy shrine, so i apoligize for taking your time, and I´m gonna hear when you say - "Please, Mr G. No more today". But i just ask you something - Let me know...Do I still got time to grow? Things ain't always set in stone. That being known, let me know...let me